I can hear it now, “Who cares how it looks, as long as it shoots!”.  Here’s the thing, I’ve since stopped buying guns for any practical or purpose driven reason. I have enough guns that shoot every time I tell it too, so the whole how it “looks” thing becomes more important when I am going to spend majority of the time “looking” at the gun and sometimes shooting it. With that, let’s take a gander at what I believe to be the top 5 ugliest Modern handguns out now.

5. Glock (Any of them except the RTF version)

rtfglock

For every person who calls a Glock ugly, there are two more people who own one. I have to be honest, this gun should not be on this list, not because it’s beautiful, but because at this point, sure, it’s not a good looking gun, but there are uglier guns, so I am going to move the Glock to honorable mention, and start over.

5. Springfield XD

Springfield-XD

You hear that, that’s the sound of all the Springfield XD fanboys hearts stopping because there is no way their beloved XD made the Top 5 ugly list. I get it, it’s like finding out your wife/girlfriend, husband/boyfriend, slept with your best friend before you two met. Just deal with it, and move on. I don’t care how well they shoot, or how smooth the trigger is, this gun is ugly. Everything on this gun looks out of proportion, especially the slide. Come to think of it, this gun is the firearm equivalent of Big Ang. Great gun, but it’s Big Ang Ugly. 

4. Chiappa Rhino

Rhino

Not only is this gun gimmicky, it’s ugly as hell. You can’t help but ask, what came first, the ugly design or the inspiration. I have to think the ugly design came first, because there is no way in hell someone thought, you know what, I am going to design a gun after a Rhino.  If they did, it was only because they were high, and even then, WTF?

3. Glocks

glocks

Oh go F*** yourself, I remember what I said at the beginning, sue me.  Getting me to admit that Glocks are ugly is like getting a parent to say the same about their kid, but sometimes you have to be real with yourself. When I first saw a glock I thought it was ugly, when I finally bought one, I still thought it was ugly, now that I have owned them for a period of time, I can only see them through rose colored glasses. The Glock is like that one person you slept with  a couple times even though they weren’t that attractive, but you went back because the sex was good.

2. Smith & Wesson Sigma .380

smithwessonsigma380

What was the name of that movie, where the parents kept their son in the basement because he was so ugly? That’s kind of what Smith and Wesson tried to do with the Sigma .380, they thought they could just act like this never happned and sweep it under the rug. This gun was designed by the uninspired and depressed. Why did they release this thing? This is the gun that happens during research and development that should never see the light of day.

1. Hi-point

hi_point_jhp

Oh, you thought I wasn’t going to make this number one for the sake of being different?The sigma is historically ugly. Call me a gun snob all you want, I know ugly when I see it, and the sigma is one ugly SOB. Thing about the sigma is that it is unapologetically ugly, it doesn’t bother trying to look nice, it knows what it is and it accepts it. Now,  if we can just get snooki to do the same thing.