I was sitting in front of the computer refreshing the Texas Bar Exam test results page waiting for the scores to populate, when I heard my mom walk into the house singing praises and thanking the Lord. I always envied my mom’s faith, she knew without a doubt that I passed.

The Blue Hyper Link of Death

I hit the refresh button again and it was like an anvil dropped on my chest when I finally saw the blue hyper link appear signifying the results were up. We decided to pray before checking the results. Finally, I clicked the link and started scrolling. If I saw my name, I passed, if I didn’t I failed. Watching the scroll bar bottom out on the screen nearly crushed me. I looked up at my mom and shook my head and muttered, “and I didn’t pass”. It was my third time taking the bar exam and I had failed again. I jumped up and headed upstairs. My mom shouted, “Where are you going?” I yelled back, “To Study! The next exam is in 3 months I gotta get going early”. I grabbed my bag of bar bri prep books and came down stairs when my mom grabbed me and asked, “Son, are you okay”? I looked at her angrily and then it happened…I completely broke down.

The Results are up…again.

Six months later, I’m at the NRA Annual Convention, a nervous wreck as I stood outside the door to an auditorium filled with over 500 people about to be interviewed by Glenn Beck. Then I got the text. The results are up. I was so nervous about the interview I forgot the results for the last bar exam I took were up. I quietly walked away to check the results. I scrolled and scrolled and then bam! There it was. My name. I passed. Immediately, I called my mom and told her the good news. I think she said a couple of words, but it was mostly screaming in jubilation. It was at that point my life changed. I was swiftly escorted on stage and gave an interview to more people than I had ever talked in front of in my life and I was officially, a lawyer.

I’ve had plenty of failures in my life, but the bar exam is the one that stands out the most because I learned the most about myself during that process. I always wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to be an advocate. I wanted people to depend on me to fight for them. Little did I know I would be fighting for the right of people to own guns.

An Advocate is Born

Prior to law school I didn’t care about guns and I definitely didn’t care about the Second Amendment. Somewhere between law school and failing the bar, I developed a passion for guns and Second Amendment advocacy consumed me. While failing the bar multiple times, guns became my healthy distraction. Shooting was a release. When I wasn’t studying I was shooting or learning about guns. It kept me focused and driven. I had a passion for the law, but my passion for guns was different. It was brutally organic and instilled in me a sense of purpose that I never knew.

The SWAT (South West Alief Texas)

When I think about it, the fact that I never saw a gun until I was in college is pretty incredible. I grew up on the southwest side of Houston, Texas in the heart of the Barrio (Spanish Ghetto). Let’s just say I knew the ins and outs of gang culture and my next-door neighbor moved more drugs out of his apartment than a CVS pharmacy. Yet, I never saw a gun until I was in college when a friend of my roommate brought his Glock to our dorm apartment.

Trapped In the Gun Closet

It’s amazing that in a country where the use and ownership of guns is a constitutionally protected right, people will assume you’re crazy when you tell them you love guns. However, I get it. We’ve been conditioned to believe the only good people with guns are hunters, cops and people in the military, not a young black man who grew up in the city.

To me, a gun in the hands of a responsible law abiding citizen is the ultimate symbol of freedom. However, when I first got into guns I felt like a confused teenager hiding his true sexual preference in the closet. I literally hid my first AK-47 in my closet for fear my mom would find it and assume I was in a gang.

Over time, I grew tired of hiding and feeling guilty for the sins of other people who used guns irresponsibly. I wasn’t a drug dealer, I didn’t gang bang and I didn’t want to kill anyone. I was a college kid who developed a healthy passion for guns with a desire to protect myself. When I finally came out of the gun closet, I came out talking.

I started my website, YouTube channel, and my show NOIR to not only express my passion, but to change the perception and narrative of responsible gun owners in America.

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